Update

Let's see....I don't think I really have anything to update. I have been crazy busy with both my jobs. Competition is finally here, we are down to our last 3 practices!!!

I realized over the last few weeks that I have a crazy ass schedule.....

• I work nights in a busy unit at a busy hospital, where I work a schedule that includes every other weekend, and I am on a committee where I volunteer to take on more work.
• I usually only get 6 hours of very broken sleep a day.
• I work 4 days a week at a cheer gym coaching 85+ kids.
• I take those same 85+ kids to 10 competitions starting in November and ending in April. Remember 3 of those months have holidays in them, where I like to spend time with my family.
• Adding to the above note. I have a very close family who likes to spend lots of time together, so I try to spend lots of time with them, but after I do all of the above I usually have very little time to do so.
• I have tons of friends who I love dearly who all have parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, candle parties, jewelry parties, etc.... and I try very hard to make all of my friends events.
• I try to maintain a social life, but again, after I do all of the above I have very little time to do so.
• I also have to try to maintain my apartment, laundry, car, health, friendships, etc.....And AGAIN after all of the above, these are the things that usually get pushed aside.

I was looking at my schedule for this week and it looks a bit like this:

Wednesday:

• Hospital meeting after only 4 hours of sleep 8am-4:30pm
• Cheer practice 7pm-8:30pm
• Try to maintain a social life, spend time with my dog & stay awake to get back on to a night shift schedule. 9:30pm-3:30am

Thursday:

• Wake up at 8am, try unsuccessfully to get back to sleep
• Get up at 4pm
• Cheer practice 5pm-8:30pm
• Work at hospital 9:30pm-7:30am

Friday:

• Run home to sleep at 7:30am
• Wake up at 4:30pm
• Visit with friends & their kids at the halloween stroll at 5pm
• Work at hospital 7pm-7:30am

Saturday:

• Try to stay awake 7:30am-9am
• Cheer practice 9am-5:30pm
• Try to sleep 6pm-10pm
• Work at hospital 11pm-7:30am

If you took the chance to read all that, I am thinking it is safe to say you agree that I am very very busy.

I got a second text from a friend today (cause I never responded to the original text, I was probably too busy) trying to set up our traditional "Ho Thanksgiving" they had picked 3 Saturdays that I could choose from to set it up. Nov 6th, 13th or 20th.....I had to sadly tell them NONE of those dates worked!!!! Nov 6th is our first cheer competition, I am working a 12 hour shift on Nov 13th, and My Sister Allison has already scheduled her Birthday celebration on Nov 20th. I also missed another friends Birthday dinner this last Tuesday because I was at cheer practice.

After all this I am not complaining....Really I'm not. Yes it makes me sad that I cannot do all the things I want to do, and It makes me sad that I can't always be as nurturing to all my friendships as I would like to be. But being busy like I am makes me very very happy. It keeps me out of trouble (kinda) and I love where I am in life.....AND I only want to make myself busier by furthering my education. I really am very very lucky to be this busy!!!

Sooooo with all that being said, I want to say a very BIG thank you to all my friends who stand by me even though I am sometimes too busy to call, text, facebook, or attend some of your events. I want to thank those same friends for being so understanding and not holding it against me when I am too busy and sometimes bad at keeping in touch. I want to thank you for continuing to invite me to your events even though I haven't been able to make all of them. I love you all for being able to pick our relationships up right where they left off and not giving me too much hell for being so busy =) I am so lucky that you are all on my side and in my corner when I need you all, and I hope you know that no matter how busy or crazy my life gets, I will always be on your side and in your corner when you need me. I hold all my friends very close to my heart and I am honored to call you all my friends. My true friends are the ones who are still standing by me when the dust settles, and for that I thank you all from the bottom of my busy ass heart!!!!!

I also want to say as a side note.....The phone, texts, facebook, etc.....work both ways......Then again my friends, you all know that =)

Old "Say what you think"

This was posted on my Myspace blog in September 2007....Some things never change & some of these I can't even remember who they were written about. It's funny how similar some of these are to the 2010 version, and I know for sure they were written about different people.....Maybe I attract & are attracted to the same types of people??


Let's see if you know who you are....

1) I love you to death, I am lucky to have you, your husband and your child in my life. I need to be better at coming around. Thank you for being my friend.

2) Our past was rocky, but I am honored to say that we are such good friends now. I consider you one of my best friends and I know you will be there at the end. You are an amazing person and so much fun.

3) I place our relationship in a very dear part of my heart...but...you don't. You are a shallow pig. You use me, I am only your friend when its convenient for you.

4) I have been shitty to you in the past. I was young and dumb. I thank god you have forgiven me. You are one of my best friends. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for being a part of mine. I love you.

5) I love you. I wish I trusted everything that came out of your mouth. I always think you aren't telling me everything, or judging me, or not telling me the whole truth. I don't know why I feel that, however, I am lucky to have you in my life. You are my rock. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You deserve only the best in your life. I know one day you will see that and one day it wont hurt so bad. You are a strong person. But even the strong fall down and cry.

6) You are the coolest ______ a girl could ever have. I admire you. I look up to you and I love you very much.

7) I love you so much, I only wish we were closer. I wish I had your money handling skills, and your self respect. You have your head on straight and I admire that.

8) I respect you so much, I wish I had your strength. I have so much fun with you. And that thing still bugs me, but you mean so much to me. I love you

9) I wish you looked at me like you did that first night we met. I wish I wasn't so jealous of your relationships with others. I wish it would have worked out. I wish you wanted to be my friend, I wish you would invest the same amount of time I do into our relationship.

10) You are young and I hate that. But you are cool as hell

11) I love that you will always care about me even when I forget to call or come to a party. I know I flake, and I am sorry. I love you so much. Thank you for still being my good friend.

12) You rock. I effin love your dancin ass!! You really are one of my best friends

13) I love you, new you, old you, single you, relationship you. I love you always. You have passed candle girl...hehehe

14) Your apologies are fake. You lie. You talk shit. You have no personality, you act on reactions. You are looking for approval. You are a follower. You do things only because you think others will think higher of you. You don't care about anyone but yourself

15) You are the sweetest, coolest, funnest (yes funnest) friend ever. I admire you. You are so strong. I am so proud of you.

16) You think the world is out to get you, when really you are whats making your life crumble. Stop saying you are nice when you are not. Try being genuinely nice to people and stop talking shit

17) I wish it never happened. I would love it to go back to the way it was.

18) Grow UP!! you are not 15, stop acting as if.

19) I miss you so much. I am glad you were part of my life for a while.

20) You judge, You think to much, You can be lazy, You don't want to work for what you want. You live in denial. You don't TRULY like yourself like you say you do, however, you stay genuinely happy. You genuinely try to be a good person but you do gossip alot. You like drama, as long as it not your own. You are hysterical and a good friend. You complain alot, you become attached wayyyy to easily. You can be clingy and very jealous. You need to be stronger, stop letting other peoples ignorant juvenile actions affect your life.

~ That was fun & very therapeutic.
~ to my friends, I really mean what I say
~ to the ones who I was negative about....I am sorry I'm not sorry

Semi-censored

Have you ever wanted to tell people exactly what you think, without negative repercussions? You want to tell them your true feelings without things turning for the worse? That's where I am....Disclaimer: I did get my "no babies" shot today, so I think I am more hormonal. Due to my hormonal imbalance, my need to be "uncensored" might be slightly escalated, however, I have been feeling this way for a while. I want so badly to just scream my true feelings out all over the place, good or bad. I just don't want to deal with the backlash or consequences. Soooo below is what I want to say....No names attached.


"I think I might like you and I would like to get to know you better"

"get over yourself....at the end of the day your opinion of me (or anything for that matter) doesn't matter to me. I think your need to shove your opinions about everything down everyones throats is really your way of covering up your own insecurities"

"I miss the old you"

"you talk too much and about nothing....Please be quiet"

"You have no opinon or individualities, you take bits and pieces of other peoples opinions and individualities and make them your own"

"Thank you for being such a great friend to me....even when I suck at being a friend"

"you and I are so bad together....but I miss your crazy ass"

"I am so happy for you, dispite what others might say"

"You are a pig"

"Thank you for making me better, without your motivation I would still be stuck in the same ol' same ol"

"I don't want to do that so stop asking me, and don't try to make me feel bad about doing what I want to do"

"I was only being concerned. I miss you so much"

"I can't stop laughing with you, that's what real friends are all about"

"You are the best girl friends, what would I do without you"

"thank you for not judging me, I promise I will never judge you"

"Stop judging me...I don't care for your opinions"

"I think your decision was a bad idea"

"Your relationship is a joke and you are a bad boyfriend"

"You may have been an asshole, but I'm glad we are where we are today"

"I have so much built up animosity...it will never work, I'm ok with that"

"It's time to let go, its for the best"

"I'm still sorry that I'm not sorry. I knew it was never going to work, I just liked the idea"

"You are an amazing person, don't ever forget that"



I think that is it for now.....Good therapy....reminds me of an old Myspace blog I did a few years back. I should look that blog up, I bet it's pretty similar.

Time to let it go..... =)